


you can always find me in the drift

by DrowningInStarlight



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, First Meetings, M/M, Pacific Rim - Freeform, oh they drifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrowningInStarlight/pseuds/DrowningInStarlight
Summary: Zolf’s seen people die. Fuck, he’s seen a lot of people die. But it’s nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the moment that Feryn—Hamid has never wanted anything other than to pilot Jaegers. But as he stands in the flaming wreckage of the disaster he was too slow to prevent, he starts to wish he’d never ever set eyes on them.Or, a Pacific Rim au.
Relationships: Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan/Zolf Smith, Sasha Racket & Zolf Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	you can always find me in the drift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pitchblackkoi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitchblackkoi/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> pacrim au time babey!! happy holidays to ross and jaime, and everyone else in the cowards server ily all!!!

Zolf’s seen people die. Fuck, he’s seen a lot of people die. But it’s nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the moment that Feryn— 

Tidal Blaze shudders, sparks blinding him. The metal is screaming around him, and Zolf might be screaming along with it because Feryn, Feryn is— 

He doesn’t know how he makes it back to base. All he knows that the only person that he calls family is dead. He walks out, and doesn’t look back. 

—— 

Hamid has never wanted anything other than to pilot Jaegers. But as he stands in the flaming wreckage of the disaster he was too slow to prevent, he starts to wish he’d never ever set eyes on them. 

_It’s just a joke,_ Gideon had assured him. Taking Golden Enchantress out for a spin, scare a couple of people in the process, have a good time all round. Hamid shouldn’t have believed him, of course he shouldn’t have believed him, it was _Gideon,_ all bright eyes and dark smiles, but he hadn’t questioned it. And now people were dead. 

People were _dead._ If Hamid can’t be trusted to see clearly, he isn’t safe to be protecting the world. He knows that. 

He walks out, and he doesn’t look back. 

—— 

So Zolf’s back. Zolf’s back and he hates it. He stomps through the harsh concrete corridors of the Shatterdome, and his leg aches as he passes the corner he used to hide in with Feryn when it all got too much. He rubs his knuckles over the outside of his thigh, but he doesn’t slow down. He’s too angry. He’s angry at the world, for still needing him, and at everyone else for not having dealt with the Breach in the five years he’s been burying himself away. He’s angry at himself, for not having been there to deal with it. Would his presence have tipped the fight in their favour, even just the tiniest bit? If he’d stayed, would the world have been saved by now? 

He doesn’t know. But he does know that if he’s offered the opportunity, he’s going to get straight back in a Jaeger. He’s kind of angry with himself for that, too, but that’s just how it is. He’s going to try and save the world, even though it’s never done a damn thing for him, because the alternative is lying down and dying and he can’t do that. He just can’t. 

He can see people watching him as he passes, heads turning. He doubts they get as many newcomers as they used to. It’s only been five years, but he doesn’t recognise any of their faces. He wonders if they recognise him. He doesn’t stop to ask. He just takes a breath, and keeps walking. It’s easier that way. 

—— 

It’s late, Hamid thinks. He isn’t fully sure. He’s definitely been working long enough that he feels a little light headed. Normally Azu, who has the other half of the lab space, drags him out to the mess hall when she leaves for the night, but it’s her day off so Hamid just kind of… didn’t think about it. He has more important things to be doing, like trying to understand Kaiju’s genetic makeup, up to his elbows in goo, taking samples. Perhaps that’s why, when the short, blond man bursts through the door with a grunt, then freezes like a deer in headlights, it takes Hamid a long moment to react. 

He carefully wipes Kaiju goop off his hands on the towel he keeps stashed away for the purpose, then says “Er… hello?” 

“I—,” the man says, “You aren’t supposed to be here.” 

“Excuse me?” Hamid says, drawing himself up to his full height, because he’s had this conversation with too many people since being stationed at the Shatterdome. “This is my lab, for my _essential research_ into Kaiju, you know, the ones _destroying the world?”_

“I know what a Kaiju is,” the man grumbles. “And I thought the research you lot were doing was supposed to be about _stopping_ Kaiju.”

“That’s what I said,” Hamid declares. Part of him wants to tug his sleeves down to hide the twisting, rippling scale tattoos that snake up his arms, but he refuses to be cowed. He stares this stranger in the eyes. “What do you mean, I’m not supposed to be here?” 

To Hamid’s surprise, the man huffs sheepishly and looks away. “That came out wrong,” he says. “I just meant— when I was last here, this room was just boxes. I used to come here to find some peace and quiet. I just… A lot of things have changed.” 

“Oh,” Hamid says. “Sorry?” 

“Not your fault. I’m Zolf, by the way. Zolf Smith.” 

Hamid’s eyes snap up. “As in, Zolf Smith of Tidal Blaze?” 

Zolf looks a little taken aback. “Yeah. Why—”

“You piloted a Jaeger alone, and you survived. You’re surprised people remember you?” 

“It was pretty damn close.” 

“But you _didn’t_ die. That makes you rare.” he offers a slime free hand. “I’m Hamid Saleh Haroun Al-Tahan. Pleasure to meet you.” 

Zolf takes the proffered hand and shakes, then goes back to looking slightly awkward. “Sorry for barging in,” he says. “It’s been a difficult, well. Few years.” 

“Yeah,” Hamid sighs. “Tell me about it.”

“Can’t imagine you have the easiest time round here, with your job.” 

Hamid waves a hand. “It could certainly be better. But, why are— can I ask, why are you back here, Zolf?” 

Zolf shrugs. “Same as the rest of us, I reckon. Last push, and all that.” 

“Do you think it’s going to work?” 

“Honestly? No idea.”

“Me neither. But either way,” he smiles winningly, “Pleasure to have met you.” 

Zolf smiles back instinctively, and maybe Hamid’s just lightheaded but he feels his heart skip half a beat. 

Once’s Zolf’s gone, Hamid plunges his hands back into the Kaiju ooze and firmly tells himself _“Don’t _get a crush on a Jaeger pilot.”__

__It’s easier said than done._ _

__——_ _

__Zolf’s been back at the Shatterdome for two and a half weeks when he breaks and goes to look for the mechanics’ division. The girl who comes to the door looks terrifyingly young, but she doesn’t blink an eye when he asks for Sasha Rackett._ _

__The girl hurries off. A few moments pass. No one appears, but Zolf knows Sasha. “Hey, Sash,” he says. “Been a bit.”_ _

__“Yeah,” a voice from the shadows says. Sasha steps into the light. Her jacket is still covered in patches, one for each Jaeger she’s worked on. Her hair is still spiky with something Zolf has always suspected to be engine grease, her eyes are still sharp and dark. “You didn’t say goodbye,” she accuses._ _

__“Did you want me to?”_ _

__Sasha shrugs. “Would have been nice to know you were still alive. Y’know, firsthand.”_ _

__“Sorry. I won’t do it again.”_ _

__She nods, once. “Welcome back, boss. Do you want to see Tidal Blaze?”_ _

__“I came here to see _you.”_ _ _

__She gives him a look._ _

__Zolf had already cracked, just coming here. No point backing out now. “Yeah. Please.”_ _

__——_ _

__The practice room is the one place in the whole damn building that hasn’t changed at all. Zolf leaves his shoes by the edge of the mat, and takes a wooden staff from the rack. It’s been a long time since he’s done this. He stands still, holds the staff firmly out in front of himself, and closes his eyes. He breathes in, out, tries to find that comfort that the Drift had always brought him._ _

__He hasn’t found a co-pilot. The Kaiju attacks are getting more frequent. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if there’s anything he _can_ do. _ _

__There’s a sound from behind him, another staff being taken from the rack. Zolf opens his eyes, holding his position steady. Hamid pads across the floor to stand opposite him. He takes the matching form to Zolf’s._ _

__They’ve been talking, a lot. In theory, Zolf knows that Hamid trained to be a Jaeger pilot, and was probably trained to spar like this properly, unlike Zolf, who picked it up on the mat with Feryn and the others. But knowing that in theory, and seeing Hamid mirroring him so easily, so confidently, is different. It’s strange. Zolf feels strange, suddenly, like he’s standing on the brink of a precipice._ _

__Hamid gives him a questioning look. Zolf gives him a nod._ _

__They break into movement, in sync down to the second. Zolf goes high, Hamid goes low, they weave, Hamid lunges, Zolf’s staff is there to catch the blow._ _

__They separate. Hamid’s face is glowing. “I’ve missed this,” he says._ _

__“Me too,” Zolf agrees, and on his next breath goes in for a pass. Hamid’s staff is already there. They collide, once, twice, three times, wood clacking against wood, Zolf pulls back, Hamid follows, the staff trips him and Hamid is down._ _

__“One,” Zolf says._ _

__Hamid’s smile only grows sharper. He accepts Zolf’s hand up._ _

__They’re drift compatible. It’s obvious. Neither of them voice it. Hamid jabs out, quick and smooth, and Zolf catches that strike, but not the one that follows immediately after._ _

__“One one,” Hamid says._ _

__Slowly, Zolf lets a smile slip across his own face._ _

__——_ _

__The alarms had woken Hamid. He’d stumbled out of bed, and watched the Jaegers departing, heart full of dread. The attacks kept getting closer together, more devastating in scale. He didn’t know what to do. His research was yielding nothing, or at least, nothing that would be useful in the time frame they appeared to have. Maybe the world was actually ending, this time._ _

__He was looking for Zolf when the alarms went off again. Before he could process the sudden noise surrounding him, the ground began to shake. He stumbles forwards, heading for the launch bay, when someone collides into him going the other way._ _

__It’s Zolf. There’s blood on his face, a cut across his forehead, but his eyes are determined._ _

__“I’m going out to help them,” he says._ _

__“Zolf, you can’t.”_ _

__“There’s no one else. This place is a ghost town nowadays, it has to be me.” he looks Hamid in the eye. “Hamid, they’ll die if I don’t.”_ _

__“And you’ll die if you do!” Hamid protests. “You can’t pilot a Jaeger alone.”_ _

__“I did it before—”_ _

__“And from what I’ve heard, it almost killed you then!”_ _

__The Shatterdome shakes again, and they clutch at each other for balance. Dust falls from the ceiling. Zolf’s face is stubborn, and they _don’t have time to argue over this._ This is Hamid’s home, hell, Hamid’s _world._ He’d never understood captains going down with their ships before today, but now, perhaps, he gets it. He changes tack. _ _

__“What’s your plan?”_ _

__Zolf gives him a careful look. Hamid just gazes back at him steadily._ _

__“All the Jaegers are out,” Hamid prompts. “And it’s probably, what, t-minus ten minutes before the Kaiju reach the base, judging by how the ground’s shaking. What’s your plan, Zolf?”_ _

__“They aren’t _all_ out,” Zolf says urgently. “There’s still _my_ Jaeger. Tidal Blaze. She’s been in lockdown ever since Feryn died, because no one else knows how to pilot her properly. But I do.” _ _

__“Where?” Hamid says simply._ _

__——_ _

__The door Zolf leads Hamid to is small. Clearly, it doesn’t see much traffic. The lights flash on with an echoing clunk._ _

__Hamid _has_ piloted a Jaeger before. He was, after all, in the academy for almost a year before the incident that resulted in his expulsion, and the memories of piloting Golden Enchantress with Gideon and Liliana still bring a smile to his face, just before the pain hits. But it’s been years, _(god, it’s been years)_ and Hamid stands before Tidal Blaze and feels a mixture of fear and anticipation. _ _

__She’s beautiful, he decides. Smaller than the newer models, blue and bronze armour catching under the fluorescent lighting, sending lights dancing all across the concrete of the bay. Zolf takes a step forwards, face desperately fond, before catching himself and turning back to Hamid._ _

__“You need to get out of here,” he says. “If I don’t make it—”_ _

__“Shut up,” Hamid replies. “I’m coming with you. You can’t do this alone, and… Whatever happens, there’s not enough time for me to get out of here. The Kaiju are going to kill us. But I’d rather die with you out there than alone in here.”_ _

__“Hamid,” Zolf begins helplessly, and Hamid leans up and kisses him. Zolf’s breath catches, and he puts his hands lightly on Hamid’s waist. Hamid doesn’t let it last, as much as he wants to abandon every thought and just kiss Zolf forever._ _

__“Thought I might,” he tells Zolf breathlessly, “As well get that out of the way first.”_ _

__He doesn’t miss the way Zolf’s face still hasn’t lost that soft, fond look, his hands still resting on Hamid’s hips. The ground shakes, and Zolf lets his hands drop._ _

__“After this,” he says, and his voice is rough because they both know one way or another there won’t _be_ an after this, “Do you want to, I dunno, get a coffee or something?” _ _

__Hamid smiles, a little tearfully. “I think I’d like that very much.”_ _

__——_ _

__Zolf has seen a lot of people die. The water is freezing around him, and as he swims for Hamid’s escape pod, he prays that he won’t have to see one more. Hamid’s cold, unmoving, even the tattoos up his arms look dull in the grey daylight._ _

__“Hey,” he mutters, “Hey, Hamid, we won, we did it, I don’t know how but we won. Don’t leave me, we can go home, Hamid, we can go _home—”__ _

__Hamid’s breathing starts with a gasp._ _

__——_ _

__Hamid’s never wanted to do anything more than hug Zolf as tight as his aching arms can manage. So he does. He does, he does, he does._ _

__They don’t look back._ _

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr as drowninginstarlights!


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